By "half-Nelson", of course, I don't mean someone only managing a mediocre impression of a historical English admiral. It refers to a wrestling-grip, the type I used to see on a black and white telly when I was a kid. It would be some huge heart-attack candidate with a gimp mask and leather undies, or the Goody, Jackie Pallow.
Mr Nasty would grease out a flow of boos and hisses from the tame audience, appearing to a young boy of 6 to be quite factually treading on the head and breaking the back of his assailant, until the latter would spring up like that other Immortal, Roadrunner, to totally trounce the opposition in yet another cathartically Shakespearean battle of Good versus Evil.
These chaps had lots of moves and combinations. The forearm smash, for instance. Or 2 types of Nelson.
These are quite simple to understand. Both Nelsons involve the arm being painfully pushed into a locked position behind the back. The Full Nelson is a complete lock; the half-Nelson is painful, coercive, pushes your arm where you don't want it to be, yet allows a certain bit of restricted movement to take place.
The protagonist who is applying the Half-Nelson, however, allows you to think you are in charge of your freedom of movement, yet it is he who dictates the how, when and to what extent you exercise these movements.
Because of both the coercion involved in these moves and the dictating of any choice one wishes as long as the options are chosen by the applyer, the language has translated effectively across from wrestling to sales. Yes, the world of selling.
To explain. Let us imagine you are attempting to cold-sell something people don't want, like double-glazing or boiler protection by British Gas, for example:
You, the scamming and lying would-be vendor, have manipulated yourself into having the initiative; the conversation is still unravelling, solely because you have defeated and steamrollered the hapless person on the doorstep. So far so good. You perceive a sale may be possible(that is, a "close") if you secure a second meeting with the client-to-be. You ask, "so when will it be convenient for me to call, please? I'm in this area Tuesday and again on Friday...so would you like me to call Tuesday at 10 or Friday at 3?"
See? The hapless creature on the doorstep feels that she has the choice, the initiative: she is the one who has total freedom of choice after all. But of course they are not her options: they are yours....!
And so, you have successfully deployed the classic Half-Nelson close : she thinks it's her choice...but she only has the choices you have given her. Seemples!
A Full-Nelson close would be less manipulative, more aggressive: "I'm only in the area ever again on Friday, then the area manager is back out here and he will add VAT and likes a commission: I myself won't make a commission here, I just love the job....so: Friday at 3 or the offer has gone." Ker-ching! AyHankYew: the Full Nelson close, ah laydeez and gentlemen-ah....
Churches can often be prime breeding-grounds for salesmen. In fact, they are. Any one wanting to flog their "spiritual" book, a bit of self-help, a prayer-handkerchief, has as their audience, their doorstep, a flock of people all needing something at the same time. These needy folks will be at church on a Sunday, so much wanting God to give them something or for Him to take something from them...unless they've gone to actually give worth to God for Who He is and what He has done.
Additionally, the very same great and good who turn up at church because they want something, will also have decided what they mean by "worship"...and this is generally not what God defines it as or what He requires.
For example, these people, who have either a shopping-list for God to pack into their carts, as though He is running a Sunday supermarket, generally have an equal idea of worship: it is something that they want to get something from. It is how nice the music is, what tunes and words the hymns and songs are: and if the songs are nice..and if they are played nicely: not too loud please.
And as one spots a tree by its fruit, so one knows who one is dealing with: "I really enjoyed worship today", or even, " I got a lot out of worship today: thank you!". To which I have been known to reply, "Oh right: I had no idea I was supposed to be worshipping you."
So, by the time the teaching/sermon comes along, these folks are as putty in the hand: malleable, warmed by the "worship" experience they've just had, and as soft as a turd. And they want, they believe it is all about them being given something they want or feeling good that something can be taken away that they don't want.
In a word, they are so, so wanting to take something away with them, they are like gannets or magpies, and will stuff their pockets with anything...because it's free.
All thoughts and admonitions about "testing", keeping one's sanctuary intact, being wise, placing the words heard in the sermon against what the Bible actually says...well, all forgotten: the guard goes down, the ears open: they feel good because the songs have enabled them to feel "spiritual"...and quite honestly are ready to be interested.....entertained...
And just before we get to the sermon, there is of course the highly-skilled spiritual Happy Shopper...who appears at first glance different to the immediately-obvious type above. In fact, they sound the real deal: they will be first to say how All About Jesus they are; in fact, they'll greet people nicely, smilingly and you can sense every hello is as firm as a professional handshake. They drink Fairtrade Everything, dress nicely. Above all, they are Positive People. They have washed their hair on Saturday night and do not even stoop to mention Sunday dinner, as they already have the joint in the oven perfectly timed to coincide with their happy arrival back home later.
They will be so positive, inspired...and so, so devoid of the snares of fear in their lives.. that they will be People With Vision.
In fact, so full of this vision they are, that within 5 minutes of being new at your church, they are so obviously of heaven, that they move ahead into one's church as if God has provided rooms in it for them in advance.
The thing is, they will cleverly tell you in public what it is they believe in...and lo and behold!... the following week they will already be doing the very thing in which they believe! Lo, verily...truly a miracle!
In fact, within minutes of their arrival at your church, they will soar like eagles above the mundane snares of such things as lsitening, learning, following...because they will be telling you how successfully God led them at their Previous Church into positions of leadership! Miracles!
Again: one week they will have cleverly been able to summarise all neatly the Gifts of the Spirit with all the skill of an A* achiever...and by a sheer Miracle, the very next week will be bringing either a Word...or a Prophecy...or if we're very blessed..a Word of Prophecy!
Well, Glory Be.
These Happy Spiritual Shoppers are indeed cognisant of the gift of Discernment: within a short space they will have learnt to greet those who are the power-nodes of the institution(the rota-creators, the sermon-bringers, the elders, the Joyous Ones, etc;) with a good deal more animation and warmth than they greet anyone else. Indeed, they will treat these people as their equals...but they will treat everyone else as their equals on the understanding that the latter will treat them as superior.
.....For, you see, it is now obvious that these new people believe they have a Vision, a Mission from God.
Now, absolutely nothing wrong and everything right with this,despite my cynical tone. To have a knowledge, even an inkling that glimmers in and then out, of God's specific plan and purpose for you, whether for always or for a season...is of course a noble and good thing.
However, what really is alarming is this: behind the perfect mask of the Happy Shopper, is the fact that they believe their vision involves a degree of control over the shared direction of the whole body; their vision is dependent on them having a say-so over the outworking of your vision.
And here's the rub: because they are professional, because they are so obviously at ease with themselves as leaders; because they have steady jobs and a normal family, and because they have limitless supplies of social lubricant in their hearts and in their palms....then of course it appears that it is right for them to do so.
And so, themsleves or their family members, cause not a murmer apart from one of fervour and rapture, when they come out with their Weekly Prophecy.
And this "Word" is a perfect example of a Full Nelson...yet a Nelson so full and exquisitely-executed as to have your arm pinned immobile behind your back without you even realising it's there. And because it's at church, because you want something, because you render yourself vulnerable, then you do that thing that allows "the very elect itself to be fooled"...you turn off your discernment, disengage God's Circuitry of Testing and allow your flesh-feeling to masquerade to you as spirit.....and you'll gleefully, postively, happy-and-joyously belive anything you're told.
You see, when their weekly "Prophecy" tinkles like drops of Sweet water from their mouth, notice both the tone and the length of utterance. You will be quite ready to believe that it's their emotional response to what they believe God is saying through them...and indeed they will believe this themselves.
But hang on...didn't they also do another one the previous week? And notice that their apparent breathlessness is in actual fact a clipping short of vocal punctuation: it would be plain rude(and impossible) to append something of your own(or of God's) in the listening-space, as there isn't any. And they've pitched their voice both higher and quicker than their normal voice, injecting a tense emotionalism and speeded-up nature...and, see: their volume increases as they go.
Yep, you see the next step, do you not? Like laughter, or yawning, there are several human vocalisings that work on a group level and exert a degree of coercive suggestion on the listener: all it needs is someone without any sense of their own boundaries, for this desire to sympathetically resonate to be unhooked.
Now of course, we are in several arenae of corporate life, desirous of both wisdom, a sense of self and with a healthy sense of our "fences" or social boundaries: it would be wrong and unwise to render oneself vulnerable to the ways of the world and social norms, as we're supposed to obey God and be in effect "in the world and not of it....
....So...WHY ON EARTH do we render ourselves vulnerable to others at a time when we are seeking to draw nar to God and to recognise His worth in our lives and in Who He is?
As the Weekly Word of prophecy/knowledge or whatever gets cranked out of the self-styled "Word-bringer", then other sympathetically-aroused murmurs come from those around them; others join in because they themselves feel their need to be the Group Leader/Elder and they have to feel as if they've said a Last Word on the subject..so in a short space of time you have the ripples and lapping waves of a group response: in the flesh, a socialogical phenomenon and, if it carries on unmoderated, this can turn into group hysteria.
The icing is truly on the cake with the cherry of top of this banquet of crap, when this turns into "speaking in tongues"...you get the babbling, you get the clanging of empty cymbals, shortly followed by the waves of internal shame and low esteem felt by those who find it difficult to feel successful in social situations; you have the lowering confidence yet extreme anger, as you sicken with the knowledge of what is truly being practised here: You know darn well what St Paul says about the appropriate where and when of speaking in tongues; you discern truly enough that this flock is made of sheep who are sheep not because they are willing followers of Jesus but because they have traded for nothing the following:. Man is the very image of God, the perfectly designed authority over the world..and here he is, having willingly shucked off his noble and discerning humanity for a mindless, group-animal, disempowered and thus rebellious chaotic and irresponsible outpouring.
And, rebellion being the sin for which a third of the angles were expelled from heaven, coupled with the coercion and manipulative control of the Happy Shoppers: control of others and rebellion is witchcraft.
From worship to witchcraft within one church service..and we've not got to the sermon yet.
And you can bet you'll see the sickest, slickest Full-Nelson yet, should you have the timerity and gall to then do what is needed to enthrone sanity.....
.....because if you dare do or sday anything to rectify the situation, you will then be the non-conformist, the scape-goat, and all the sins will be piled upon you; you will thus be wrong, pitied and scorned, as those who should know better will not suffer the ignominy of having a plank fall from their eye in front of everyone else or even themselves:
For example, if you dare to contradict anything that is practised or said, the stock reply from them is that you are "sowing discord" or "complaining"...in fact, as you're the only one to speak contrarily to them, you will be judged as rebellious! But then, what really gets me to want to rip their smug heads from their shoulders, is that superior, simpering-gloat as they say something about the "issues" or the "difficulty" you are presently having; or they'll "discern" that you are troubled because your "spirit is at war".
Real-life examples are more saddening and maddening than even that.
I used to be part of a church called "Life Church". This beast was spawned in Folkestone, Kent, setting up little "franchise"-type churches in many other places: Ely, Stroud, Isle of Man and no doubt many other incarnations. At one time in a season of obedience and blessing, this church in its Stroud setting in Gloucestershire was gifted with many children, families, creches, healthy attendance, powerful ministry and muscial worship and occasionally meaningful teaching. However, it was very conscious of both image and money. I cannot comment on whether this was instrumental in its passing, though its accent on prosperity and the accumulation of wealth became for me personally obscene. In Stroud, of this once large and vibrant church, there is now not the barest sign it ever existed; it's as if it dried and blew away in the wind.
Its Stroud pastor was seemingly of the opinion that fleshly happiness was to be sought..it smacked of the pyramid-selling, Amway-type, self-serving institutions of the 80s, and now seen in "ministries" such as those of Benny Hinn and Todd Bentley. Babbling-in-tongues became used as a religious mantra.
One classic Nelson from the pulpit was when people were refusing to show animation or give the flesh-response the pastor required: he launched into a tirade in which he claimed that, rather than him being in any way at fault, there was a "sprit of slumber" that was manifesting its(presumably slothful) self among us.
Manipulation gave way to coercion and classic but quite nasty and dark Full-Nelsons: I was told that as a musician, my "commitment" was expected: when I and another music group member gave a week's notice in saying that we wished to go to a Christian festival the following week, imagine our shock and disgust when the pastor actually said to us, "No; you're not going." Simple as that.
Mercifully, that "church" is no more. In Stroud anyway.
The Full-Nelsons extend to sermons in the same way as I described earlier: sadly this has taken place recently even at my present church, King's, Malmesbury. Last Sunday the pattern is exquisite: the guy comes out with something on "laughing". Fine, fair enough. He throws in a few bible references: fine. However, the points made are superficial and misleading, with "research" being thin, shallow and based on reported speech from the internet.
Finally, because one of the elders had initially said how nice it would be to smile when we said Happy New Year, the 2 events were conflated so that it became "the Word of God" to be visibly "happy" and to "laugh more".
Now, nothing intrinsically dark and horrendous here, but within the sermon, as the chap pulled out entertaining worldly "self-help" type bons mots to illustrate his main thrust that we should, as Christians, laugh more and " be positive", he came out with the nice little double Half-Nelson: again, the one that Christians use when the subtext goes like this:
You have the God-given free-will to disagree with what my points are...but my argument is right because I have quoted the Bible. Thus I know you would be anti-Biblical and thus anti-God if you were to disagree with me....
......See?! Half-Nelson so far: you have the choices and free will...but only from the options I am giving you...
....BUT...he then covers himself with a neat little sachay: .
...besides, I like it when you may think to disagree, as it shows you are challenged and moved by the sermon...
Hahaha! In other words...I will not consider the notion that I am wrong. Even if you were to point out that my sermon is superficial, that it confuses the nature of joy with that of freedom/release[his knowledge of Greek added to some false belief..often the problem with folks trying to give their work majestas by quoting in an ancient langauge], then the most I can admit to if you were to personally challenge me as to the veracity of my sermon, would be that "The Spirit" is moving you.
But how "edifying" is this approach really?
The lock of the Nelson was thus: nicely couched in statements to the effect that IF I or anyone wished to correct or admonish with a view to adding to his knowledge, that of the whole church or to reveal more of God's balance of seasonal "joy" against appropriate tears/sadness/anger(which are of vital importance as sanctified and mature responses, and obdeient to God)...then there is an onus on me and a barrier against me: there is no spirit of engagement of freedom(er, or joy and light) to discuss this further with him.
The sermon or "teaching" had the feel of someone who was very prosperous preaching on the "gospel" of prosperity. I did wonder too, that there are many people who find life a hard battle more often than not: a rallying to laugh more often and seeing this as something" we should do", is admittedly not a big deal...but it's not the most sensitive way to address spiritual or emotional matters, particularly as an exhortation to laughter for someone who has a battle with themselves over the appropriate self-esteem they ideally may have, may leave folks feeling a little "less than" and excluded by the end of the service.
As did I. And those little rejoinders that pointedly rebuffed in advance any attempt to discuss with the speaker...well, a bit needlessly manipulative.
However, when the same dynamic is sown into a sermon which covers far weightier and controversial matters....when the congregation is given personal opinion in place of fact, then told that if they then disagree, they are disagreeing with the rest of the Word including the Resurrection.....Well, if one hears half-truths and one-sided opinion from the pulpit, then is hit with this, is this not a cause for alarm on the part of the congregation?
I mean, using the above non sequitur as a messy Nelson would be perhaps a hint that the speaker was in a degree of desperation about his subject....and one could surely question whether the "sermon" was intended to bless in a light of freedom, to illuminate the Word in truth, or to exercise opinion.
And if there is any question about this, let us again think about the "audience".
Let us give our hypothetical assembly the benefit of doubt. We will assume the following, that:
Most of us are coming to the church building to give worth to God in a collective Body, to sing songs and hymns that are expressions of praise to God, with the additional purpose of edifying or building one another. However, God being of a lovingkindly nature, He may also choose to feed us individually or corporately from His Word, or to jointly "re-member" Jeus and strengthen or affirm our Bodyship with Him and each other. He may wish us to pray for one another as a collective as well.
I am taking it for granted here that at present we are considering Sunday in the geographical location of our corporate meeting.....so it is important to consider the following: that is,
The place we meet on a Sunday is not a church. Rather, it is the building in which The Body may collectively congregate.
I often think of and refer to church as being who we are and what we do between Sundays.
So, we've "made it to church": given the above..and given that, yes, we may be wrestling in all manner of ways with the flesh, the mind, our egos, the cares of the world; yes, we may feel more misanthropic than we usually do around other humans. We may feel more connected or disconnected; we may find issues around self-worth surface like eels from the oily, dark depths of our psyche. On the other hand, we might be used to the following dynamic: we may be working, professional males, who are used to being "solution-focused" for 6 days, seeing a set of things to be done, then used to relying on our powers of persuading self and others in "professional" ways.
These might arguably be worldy tools as we are light and salt to the world: and remeber that light is only seens light when right up to, and in close proximity with, the dark
Remember too, that historically speaking, salt was at its most effective as a purifier and preserver, being put on meat and fish to combat corruption.....
...so we may be struggling in church in ways of which we are not aware: trying to sort out its function and our own like social engineers tinkering with a system or a machine...thus being in the actual spiritual place wherein God wants us, involves us actually giving up those modi operandi that were successful from Monday to Friday, but are controlling and manipulative in the Body of Jesus, working against the abiding that we think we have so perfectly achieved.
It was T.S. Eliot who said in one of his poems that "humankind cannot bear too much reality." And yet, reality, or truth is the state that we are called to be in , as God has created us to worship Him in Spirit and truth.
Pilate spoke the words, "what is truth? Now, the Greeks often described difficult and abstract concepts in a way that seems to us to be a cop-out, typically as "not the thing which is its opposite"! Thus, the word for truth literally meant "that which is not a lie", suggesting that which would exist after all the chaos and forgettable, transient nothingness were taken away.....true, certainly and logically, yet testifies to a worldview and experience that can analyse, extrapolate and deduce, but that sadly cannot know. It is a bit like saying that all the important and necessary stuff for us in life, is what may remain after you subtract all you know, see and experience. All of which is very nihilistic and presumably tiring to try and work out.
Jesus invites know the truth and the truth will set you free, stating His own nature as being thel ight, the truth and the way. Thus, knowing Him means knowing the truth, which sets us free; ergo: knowing Him is the key to our freedom. Ergo, knowing Him is both possible and what we need and He wishes us to have. Thus knowing Him, knowing the truth and being free, are not only both necessary ...but possible.
Given that He also says that all who ask, receive, then logically the following remains:
Either He is lying...in which case do not believe a word He says.
Or, He is telling the...truth.
So: if He is telling the truth, the again logically...if we ask Him to know Him, to know truth and to be free...and given that all who ask, receive....then all we need to do is to ask Him to let us know Him.
And ...how many times is "Nelson" written in the Bible?
And you(dear reader, as they say) will know at this point that if you need these things in your life there's nothing more I can constructively say, so I will finish here and let Him take over, should you wish Him to.
You have read thus far. You know me to be sometimes fairly clever with words yet often not fair in speech, glaringly imperfect....but yet again, if you've read this far, it's not really about me at this point, is it?
Shaun Reeder
12th January 2011
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